Mattress shopping can be so much fun!

We desperately need a bigger bed, and now that we’ve got our first visitors booked in to Pollard Mahal just after Easter, I have to sort out bedding arrangements (yeah yeah AND curtains I know!).

Sooooo, I’ve been eyeing off this bed at Sharma Farms for the last few months, and well I panicked when I saw it’s twin in the workshop being cleaned up and restained. So I nagged Dean into submission (a skill I’ve recently learned from my girls!) and it was delivered yesterday.

Only (isn’t there always an “only”?) it’s not quite standard size. So yesterday I headed off in search of a mattress, determined to buy something equivalent to a Sealey Posturpedic and I’d already presumed Indian mattresses weren’t gonna cut it. Krishna my driver encourages me to the local markets on the way to the mattress shop, as I had nothing much else to do (apart from run to the loo 100 times .. had Delhi belly or giardia or something since Sunday) we went to Kotla market and Lagpat Nagar.

Now, the last time I bought a mattress the guy at Captain Snooze made us both lie on some contraption which calculated our weights and stress spots or some such crap, handed us a printout proving the computer mattress calculator thingy had determined the “best” mattress for us. Ohhh found a pic, it’s called Sleep to Live gives you the general idea yeah?:

So I wander into the first, ahem “showroom” to find it’s as wide as a normal bathroom, and they have single mattresses all stacked up against the wall, and in the roof, samples of other mattresses they obviously don’t sell very often .. like luxury pillow top Sealey type mattresses!

7 guys working in the “showroom” all staring at the blonde white woman who’s already decided there’s no way she’s gonna lie down on a mattress in front of them ..... I’m not going to be the star in some scrawny spitty n hoiky Indian boy’s next fantasy nosireeeeee!

Back to the samples, which are about 2feet x 3feet cushions ..... you make your decision after you sit on it! Nope, none of that new fangled computerised analysis, none of that make yourself comfy, here’s a pillow and see if it’s actually comfortable when you lie on it bizzo. Phew! Saved the embarrassment of having to lie down in front of all those boys .. ewwwww my skin crawled as I typed that last bit.

(there were 3 others behind me) Nice jumper & white pants by the way!

I couldn’t help myself and said to the head skinny dude ... when you go to sleep do you sleep sitting up? No madam (derrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr), well then how on earth do you expect me to test a mattress by sitting on a cushion sized bit of one? HUH huh huh?????

Next shop ... anorexic dude with paan stained teeth leers at me as I enter (thank god I’ve got Krishna the bodyguard with me) not only does he not have pillowtop samples (but shows me everything else) he doesn’t even have a brochure!!!!!

On the way home, Krishna actually comments that he’s amazed how many people stare at me and asks me if it bothers me. Bother’s me? Only like every second of the day, when you sit in the car and then realise you’ve got a truck full of guys blatantly staring, only when the guy in the car next door can’t help but stare, only every time I walk down the street and heads turn (imagine how much attention beautiful skinny chicks get!!!!) , only when after a car accident (Ganesh’s fault for opening the door without looking and collecting a bike rider) ... were there no less than 15 guys all staring at the very pale and about to be not blonde chick! Yeah it bothers me .... A LOT!

I digress, so I finally found a mattress shop that sells “KWALITY” mattresses and can make my odd size mattress in 2 days!

Dean and Emmaline are home ill today, best go put on my Florence Nightingale Hat!