May 16, 2010

reworking this blog








Hi sorry if my blog is a bit hard to read at the mo, am in the process of reformatting it as I've not been happy with the layout but being an L plate blogger I'm not exactly sure how to fix it and more to the point, nor do I have time to concentrate on it.   I did try then made a complete botch up of it and haven't had time to fix it ...  I WILL however go back on my older posts and fix the font at least (sooner or later)!!!!

I haven’t blogged for ages now cause I have been busy, shot back home to spend time with Mum after her heart attack and now am counting down the days till I can pack us all up and we can go home for the summer and spend some time with friends and family (Mum mostly of course) .... and of course to escape the extreme heat we're now experiencing!

But I also haven't blogged cause I had some unsavoury comments left on my blog from strangers who have obviously taken my stories completely out of context and I got all pouty for a bit there.




Anyway, I’ve decided to ignore them as my blog is intended, in conjunction with my Facebook pics and stories, as a light hearted, tongue in cheek, insight into our life in India for friends and family to perhaps try to understand how hard it is sometimes for us to live here, as strangers in a strange land, who don't speak the language, to understand the intricacies, pitfalls, highs and lows of living an expat life (which in India is far from normal) and how it affects our family.


I want to say that I feel privileged for the opportunity to explore and embrace a new culture ..... Incredible India. As an experienced expat, I did think this would be far easier than it actually is.  While I never expected life here to be the same as back home, I assumed that I would be able to find and do little things that made the transition a whole lot easier than it was (and an inexperienced expat coordinator helped make me believe that) .... not just for me, my family I mean especially my children.


So, if complete strangers take my stories out of context without knowing one little bit about me or my circumstances, personality, spirit or sense of humour and wish to make unkind comments well so be it. Those who know me, understand.  Those who haven't walked in my shoes, shouldn't make judgement without doing so first.

Those who assume, incorrectly I might add, that I know nothing of the culture or suggest that I attempt to do so, as well as learn Hindi should perhaps stop to ask me what I have done, and/or intend to do during my stay in India.  My children are (stupidly in my books) not taught Hindi in their school so I take every opportunity for us to learn as much as we can, and for those of you who know me, you'll know that this is what I do in every country we have visited so far.  My children, with my encouragement and love for languages, have learned to count and various phrases in no less than 10 languages.  Not being bi/multilingual myself (something I will always regret), I want my girls to have every opportunity to become so themselves.

The first 6 months here were tough, really tough, but I now feel I'm in the "zone".  I roll with the punches and the frustrations, laugh at my own expense with amazing women who are in exactly the same boat.  And while our existence here is far from normal (by that I mean by what I've known for the last 42 years) I AM loving it.  I acknowledge that, with the benefit of hindsight, I've predominantly used my blog to vent, and you know if I had the time right now, I would also blog about ALL the things I love about India.  There's so much I wish to share, but I just can't seem to get on top of it .... blogging or anything else to be honest!  So for now, after this blog, I'm done with blogging until I can give justice to EVERYTHING I experience here ..... the good, the amazing, the fabulous, the heartwrenching, the bad and the ugly!

But you know, days roll by and stuff gets in the way.  I barely get round to calling or emailing my family n friends so I have used Facebook for my 000’s of pictures and blogging in a vain attempt to keep them in the loop.  I constantly feel guilty about how little time I have to maintain existing friendships while I struggle to develop new ones in the country I'm now living in.  Blogging was supposed to be the glue that kept me linked to everyone!

Having said that though, THE most important things to me are my children and my husband and, right now my Mum, who is struggling with constant and very serious health issues.  I have let slide my blog while I attend to those more important issues and perhaps you would not judge me so harshly if I had time to give a balanced view of our life and our life here in India and you knew exactly how we live our lives.

I do however expect to have the freedom to express myself without being labelled, unfairly, amongst all things "a bigoted bitch who belongs back in a penal colony".

Those of you who know me, know that to be completely unfounded and untrue.

You know ..... raising children is not an easy gig.  Dragging them out of their comfort zone (again, our choice I know), and attempting to provide them as normal a life as possible, while living in a developing country like India is even MORE difficult.  And it's one gig I do happily and willingly while I support my husband, while HE helps build a business which will ultimately benefit millions of Indian families.

Our family supports 12 individuals and their respective families, we give them jobs which they might not otherwise have, we both pay them and treat them exceptionally well.  
I share the vegetables I grow in my vegetable patch that I built with my own hands but mostly with the help of local labourers.  
I love my staff, without them I would find it difficult to function normally here.  I love the (unexpected) interaction we have, I assist them with their own troubles, provide advice and support whenever I can.  And as I learn about their needs, and subsequently feel guilty about my ignorance of their needs, I give more and more.  I’m a big softy at heart and I know there are expats out there (far more experienced in India than I) who have and will berate me for being as soft as I am, yet here I am justifying myself to strangers who are so far removed from this existence, who cannot possibly imagine what a normal day in the life of an expat wife entails.... and it’s most certainly not bridge, manicures & cocktails! 


I'm trying my hardest.  I’m on one big MASSIVE learning curve, and I am terribly upset there are some people, who live thousands and thousands of kilometres away, sitting in their college dormitories, or office without kids or a spouse to care for, sippin on a Starbucks, believing they are qualified to judge me when they cannot possibly imagine what life here is like with kids and a husband who works ridiculous hours .. or without a hell of a lot of unbiased research!

I try to make my blog as funny as I can purely for entertainment value (as those of you who know me well will attest) and I never expected that people would see it otherwise!  Sure I get frustrated (as does any expat here) and you would too if you were living here.  But it's one of the few opportunities I do have to purge my mind in an attempt to keep myself sane.  Fellow expats get my ramblings. I’m not just speaking for myself you know!

While I do not feel the need to justify any sentiments I chose to blog, I wish I had the words to adequately describe what our life is like and how grateful I am to be here, as I'm clearly not doing a very good job of it.

To the man who made fun of my children's names ... how dare you.  Completely uncalled for and out of line.  You should be ashamed of yourself, especially in your profession.

Dunno when I'll be back!

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