and what I'm not going to miss......

Ok this will be a growing list as I think of things ...... and it's pretty random .......

• being asked for correct money even if they've got change

• or cash if we pay card

• or telling me the credit card machine doesn't work, but it does miraculously when you push the point!!!!!

• banking restrictions for women 

• and Dean getting a text message EVERY time I take money out of the ATM or use my credit card (not that that happens very often of course!)

• guards weeing in coke bottles behind the atm

• bare feet

• The Indian airline pilot's SLAM LAND landing

• being stared at

• Men and boys staring at my daughters

• Everyone staring at us, asking if they can take our photos.  Yeah it's kinda funny at the beginning, then it gets annoying.  Emmy started asking people for money when they asked if they could take our photos.  Now it doesn't happen so much anymore, maybe we've just got that "leave me the hell alone" look on our faces

• beggars bashing on our car windows, thinking if they keep doing it we'll give in and give them money .. no actually, I chose who I'll give money to and it's not someone who's about to put a dent in my car or someone I see every day on the same corner, with sparkly clean teeth, dressed in different clothes e v e r y d a y!

• English subtitles for English movies on tv - never did get that one!

• shop attendants greeting Dean and ignoring me (hey I'm the one that'll be spending the roops!)

• being followed round shops like I'm going to steal something any minute

• shop keepers adjusting items the minute I've touched something, like I've ruined their display (I know it's cause they've got nothing else to do but it really REALLY irritates me)

• heat

• sweat

• the sound of whistles - whoever introduced whistles into India ought to be shot!

• uber loud music (or inappropriate music) in restaurants and shops

• being asked to check the temperature of bottled water in a restaurant or cafe

• rubbish

• dust

• not having cold water in the middle of summer - think all water tanks are on the roof after a hell of a lot of 48 degree days ..... it sometimes takes 10 minutes of running the water before it's cooled down sufficiently to stand under!

• power outs

• pointless security checks

• being fondled by female security guards

• being stalked by shop workers and being told what I'm holding is "xxxx"

• having to say hello to every person working in a shop

• 20 minute long ad breaks on television

• cheap medical appointments.  Access to THE most senior consultant for about $10

• oh yeah and self medicating (yeah I know we shouldn't do it, but we are the google doctors we have to be and I'll explain one day why) and having access to everything you need without a prescription is well, honestly it's brilliant.  In Australia if you have conjunctivitis you've got to get a doctor's appointment for a prescription, it's one of those things that you need to treat STRAIGHT AWAY and so being able to go to the local pharmacy and getting anything you need, sensibly of course I'm no pethidine addict or anything!  I mean, I've even heard recently that you can't get anti-histamines in the UK without a prescription anymore, what a waste of a gp's time - doling out prescriptions during hay fever season!

• coming home with filthy dirty & black feet every day

• Neelum insisting on taking the girls school bags from them when they arrive home and emptying their lunch boxes for them

• dust oh did I say that already?

• DUST

• AND RUBBISH everywhere - watching people, cows and dogs rummage through open waste areas

• having to call myself Jana on the phone because spelling Janet is just too damn hard .. J yes J, A .. .E?  No A. E? No it's an A as in Amritsa, oh ok J, E A .. no J A, ok J E .. NO J A ...... yes J A, that's right N. M? ... no N as in Nimboo oh ok Nimboo .. (long confused pause) ... you know Hindi madam? Yes Yes, keep going ... so that's J A N E, Yes Madam J A N A .. yes that's right Jana, that's my name J A N A.  Theekay Jana Madam (ironically, that was my grandmother's name and I was actually named after her!)

• the Hello? hello? hello? conversations on the phone.  You know what?  When you call me you don't say hello with a question, you say hi, introduce yourself and tell me why you're calling me ... otherwise I'll just keep saying hello back to you ping pong style until you give up playing this ridiculous game!

• broken produce .. think crushed crisps, smashed cheese biscuits

• sun affected i.e.; white dry chocolate

• outdated produce or those with 10 used by stickers on top of each other

• chicken ham

• no access to supermarkets

• market owners who turn off their refrigeration overnight (and yes I will well up again when I step foot in Safeway!)

• ridiculously overpriced imported goods

• no decent cheese and certainly a VERY limited selection at that

• off wine - think no cold transport, think market owners who face the rear of the air-conditioning unit (yes the side pumping out hot air) onto the imported (albeit limited) selection of probably already off imported wine

• on that note being told Jacobs Creek is good wine - it's not you know, we only export that stuff and no respectable Australian would drink it, exactly like Fosters beer!

• a really bad repetitive wine selection

• being asked by a waiter, after I've placed my order, if I'd like to try Jacobs Creek

• on that note .. in a restaurant, perusing the wine list, deciding on something then being told that's not available, then your next choice isn't available, then your next and your next, until you give up (but still determined you're not going to drink Sula).

• walking through a market and having shop keepers try to guess where I am from (which I have to admit they're rather good at), the minute I open my mouth, they're telling me how good Steve Waugh and Ricky Ponting are .. guys .. honestlyI know it's a national obsession, but I really don't give a shit about cricket!

• Reading in the paper that milk is contaminated with detergent or urea, that the fish has been treated with formaline to keep it looking fresh, or that mangos are ripened with carcinogenic chemicals for about 4 months or the year.

• Public nose picking, weeing and pooing everywhere

• Designer magazines like Elle for rs100, and I can buy them through the car window!

• segregation of women and men .. especially at airport security

• OH YEAH ... airport security!!! Oh My God ... having to have your carryon luggage tags checked about 27times before you get on the plane, sometimes you've only taken like 5 steps and there's someone else holding a rifle wanting to check you're luggage tag is still affixed and duly stamped by security dudes! (having just checked into Bangkok airport, our girls were gobsmacked that they didn't have to face an uzi wielding security guard before they'd even got inside the terminal!)

• oh security checks ... being security checked going from one shopping mall to the one attached to it

• no traffic rules .. no hang on, this is the wrong list .. well ya know, rules are made for a reason, I get that... so .. not adhering to rules is bad, but actually it's pretty cool when it suits you so, it's going on both my lists!

This is another list I'll keep adding to as I think of things (and I'll find some piccies to make it all perrrrrty too!) so stay tuned.....