Living in India, what we'll miss.......

Yes, very sadly our time in India is officially up!  Our belongings have been "stuffed" (yes that's the official term) into containers, yes that's plural containerS ....has been been cleared by Indian customs and is headed to Mumbai and then off across the oceans to the UK.  Well almost all our belongings ... Dean's motorbike! Lil glitch in that it apparently hasn't been registered since 1973, but we're onto Plan B and if it all goes to plan, it will be ready waiting for Dean when he gets there later this month!


So come the end of this week we're joining the gaggle of expats who are deserting these dusty, hot and vibrant lands! (actually I've posted this after we left and I'm sitting by a pool in Thailand).


I honestly don't have the words to convey my feelings so I'm not going to do that here, yet.  Actually I'm not ready to leave, am sssoooooo sad that I haven't been able to bring myself to count the days down, but now, it's THIS Friday and I'm no closer to being ready!

In an attempt to stem the tears that still flow way too easily, I thought a blog about the things I'm going to miss about this crazy place would be in order!!!

So .. in no particular order:

• The noise, the vibrancy, the life … there are people everywhere, life goes on right in front of you, from the man having a haircut on the sidewalk, or his ears cleaned, the children washing in the monsoonal waters in the gutter, wedding processions .. it's all on show and you feel alive every single day!

• My vegetable garden

• Michael Jackson (our resident peacock)

• Having my shopping held by the guard at each shop door!

• Banyan trees

• Wedding season … thumping music, fireworks to rival New Year's at the London Eye, the white horses parading the groom, beautiful saris everywhere!

• the game we play called "avoid security guards" oh it's so much fun .. you know - if you don't barricade an area off properly and you leave a space where people can walk around security .. whaddya think's gonna happen?  It's a challenge and oh so much more fun than being an obedient sheep

• Bling!  Here you can never be overdressed, SO, the more bling the better!

• no road rules

• Just now as I was typing this, we drove through a police blockade (nothing unusual) the police motioned Ranjeet to pull over (we're driving a hire car), I told Ranjeet to keep driving .. I don't want to be hassled by police who think we're tourists and can scam some money out of me or Ranjeet!  So Ranjeet obliged, big smile on his face at my impudence and of course, there was no police pursuit car up ahead to stop us

• No limits to trade.  If you can find a mirror, scrounge up a chair and find a sharp enough pair of scissors, you can be a side of the road hairdresser .... nail your mirror to a tree and whellah, you've got yourself a way to earn money, meagre maybe but it's a job and it's money.  There are no qualifications required, no council restrictions or requirements for a permit for conducting business on council property, there is no professional liability insurance, no tax to pay.  Or, if you can find a few old bicycle wheels and some wood, you can fashion yourself a cart of some description and start making deliveries.  There's no requirement for registering your "vehicle", you don't have to join the wooden cart drivers union. 

And he closes when he wants to .. when the roads are finally deserted, or when he's made enough to feed his family but not because the government has issued a mandate that all businesses must be closed by 6pm Monday to Friday.   This man needs to make money and if he wants to open till 1am he can.  


Yes yes I know there are so many arguments and points of discussion on this subject alone, but this is not the place .. all I'm saying is that the average man on the street CAN make a living of sorts, somehow, anyhow without the "nanny state" mentality stopping him from putting food in his kid's mouths with ridiculous laws, by laws, regulations, taxes n such.  So... back to my list.......

• Sweat everywhere ... NOT!

• SPM'ers - you know who you are!

• Sarojini Nagar (markets) & how our friends buy each other clothes (we're talking rs150! so it's not like we're splashing out!)

• Our mali's

• Service station driveway attendants & not having to put petrol in my car or get out of it to pay for my petrol!

• buying bootleg wine .. it's just feels so naughty!

• Never having to find my car keys (our guard keeps them)

• Having my shopping carried inside and put away.

• the tea towel man at Khan Market who expects I'm going to buy 10 tea towels every time I see him!

• Sneezing my head off in "chill street" at the Spice Markets of Chandni Chowk

• Being greeted with a big smile by Ajay at the photo shop as "Madam Janet"

• Watching our drivers hang out - they form their own little gang based on who their madam's friends are.

• Group shopping and car borrowing - I don't know how many times I've jumped into a friend's car and headed off together on a spontaneous shopping trip, or been able to borrow a friend's driver when I'm stuck!  

• Having my ironing done every day, even if some stuff does get burned and put back in the cupboard in the hope I won't notice.

• Nero's Methi Puri's

• Bollywood style television advertisements

• Our chickens, free ranging it round the garden!  Nothing like having breakfast outside and a lil chicken pops round the corner to say hi.  And their gorgeous orange egg yolks!

• OUR FRIENDS

• Having someone always at home to receive deliveries, be there for repairmen etc

• Cheap mobile phone bills

• Having my car cleaned twice a day - what luxury!

• Not ever needing a taxi

• Bollywood music on the radio

• Our house

• People on the road

• Auto drivers and guards to ask directions

• Driving in Delhi - I've always loved driving and I am a bit of a lead foot normally, but only ever lost points once on my licence.  

• Here, you can get away with driving like a maniac.  Speed limits?  What are they?  Road rules?  Licence?  Red lights?  Pffffthhhhhh! Overtake on the inside lane.  Make another lane at the lights if you'd rather have pole position.  I only have an Australian licence, never bothered with a local one, I had my international licence the first year but only found that 2 weeks ago when we were packing.  I've driven a commercial vehicle here more than once, yelled at a policeman (in my defense he wasn't dressed like a policeman), ignored one who waved me to the side of the road, horned constantly, zigzagged through traffic like a lunatic (safely of course).  The only thing I am worried about is cows, but you know there don't even seem to be as many of them on the roads these days.  I honestly don't know how I'm going to drive in the real world again, adhering to speed limits or not zooming round slow poke drivers .. the bonus of course is if you can drive in Delhi you can drive anywhere in the world, my judgement fine tuned, I am an alert driver, never aggressive, ok just maybe a little bit impatient these days!

• Cows

• Colour

• Holi

• Diwali

• Fruit carts on the side of the road

• The constant amazement that "madam speaks Hindi!"

• The tradition of never returning crockery empty.  So if someone gives you a dish of lasagna and you have to return the dish, you can't send it back empty!

• Never being stuck for a carpark, rs10 gets me a carpark anywhere, 20 if I leave my keys and have the dude find a carpark for me!

• Having my grocery basket carried for me at the supermarket, and being offered a bottle of cold water or a coke while I'm shopping!

• Trust - don't have enough money? sure pay me later PLEASE take the goods now, I insist.

• Mangled, rusted, completely unroadworthy vehicles with boxes stacked pile high and a guy on top to balance them all.

• Overstuffed auto rickshaws

• People hanging off the side of buses (or on top of them)

• Silly indian or very old fashioned words that have snuck into our vocabulary like upgradation, downloadation, prepone (yup think the opposite of postpone!), needful, out stationed, biurfication, degrowth, overspeeding, laning and availabilisation

• Being constantly surprised at the stuff that is transported on the back of a motorbike!

• Restaurants providing a small table for my handbag (Bangkok rip offs mostly!)

• Ok, I admit, having my bed made every day!

• Celebrating EVERYTHING! and how!!!?

• The look of utter disbelief of Neelum's face when I insist on cleaning up my own mess or that I've put a load of washing on before she started work

• The relationships built with store owners.  Mr Shah delivered some handbags he'd made for a bunch of us, I wasn't home at the time, he never called me for payment, in fact I still haven't paid for them.  His attitude is he's in no hurry, he trusts me and knows where I live.  Even when I called him and found out he was "out stationed" til september and told him we were leaving the country, he still wasn't fazed, told me to pay him next time I was in Delhi!!!!  I just couldn't do that, so am leaving money with a friend.  But that level of trust (in such a corrupt environment) still baffles me and does in fact reinstill my faith in human beings!

AND OF COURSE no list of what I'll miss about Delhi would be complete without two people who have made my life so much easier since they joined our family.....

• My driver Ranjeet.  A lovely, gentle soul who joined our family early last year (I wish I'd found him sooner).  He is an absolute delight.  I probably spend more time with Ranjeet than I do with my own husband!  I will never forget the look on his face the day we shared the news we were leaving India.  He was clearly devastated!  And we often have tears in the car, he usually starts it.  He's had a tough time the last few years since his brother was murdered in a fight he shouldn't have got involved in.  We give Ranjeet every day off he needs to attend court to fight for the justice of his dear sadly departed brother.  27 people in his family home and only 3 of them working, all women forbidden to, so we're supporting a really lovely Seikh family. Ranjeet was a mess the week we left Delhi.  When time finally came to say goodbye (at the airport) he hugged Dean like you wouldn't believe, kissed my girls on the heads and hugged them repeatedly, like a cherished Uncle would, hugged me about 3 times and just could not stop crying .. he was clearly gutted we were leaving .. I will miss this sweet sweet man dearly

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  Ranjeet treats Dean's bike like his own!

Neelum - our sweetest maid yet.  She's studying her BA and I've had her in tears a few times too as she struggles with the simplest acts of my generosity!  She's only ever worked for Indian bosses and has never been allowed to take time off to do exams or register for her studies so when we have our little chats about saving for her future and the importance of study etc, she usually ends up gulping (as she does when she's nervous) and tears and hugs always follow.  Her brother was also murdered earlier this year, over a trifling 300 rupees.  He left behind his wife and 4 children.  Neelum just took off with no explanation for a week, (as you would) to look after her bereaved sisterinlaw .. when she returned she was stunned that where were no reprimands, that she still had a job, that we cared ... this place, it does your head in when you realise how the locals are treated by their own, that life is so cheap, that people genuinely don't care.  Neelum is eternally grateful that she got to keep the job she now so desperately needs to look after 5 more hungry mouths.

 We have managed to secure jobs for all our staff before we left.  Neelum & Nero (our cook) are able to keep their quarters for the furniture we gifted them.  That in itself is a huge relief as we can't imagine abandoning them to a life without money, food or shelter.  They have touched us, helped us enormously in our journey and for that we are grateful

Ok I'm digressing, ... There's no way this list is complete, but I've gotta start somewhere right?  I'll keep adding to it as I deload all this stuff from my brain